50 Shades of Pink For Gertie: Birthday Cake and Cotton Candy

It took me awhile sitting at the computer this morning to try and write today's post, primarily because its one of the harder posts to write this year. You see, in two days it would have been my grandma's birthday. Her 97th birthday. As I sat thinking about what to write I though about her last birthday...her birthday last year while she was in a nursing home going through rehab for pain she was having in her hip. It was a surprise party...and boy was she surprised! She was so surprised that she cried tears of happiness and as I reflect on it today, probably tears of sadness. Why tears of sadness? As I think about it, I believe that she knew somehow that it would be her last birthday with all of us.

This week's color is Cotton Candy and was donated by Avon and was donated by Cathy Jimenez of New Carlisle, IN, chosen because of its soft color...a color my grandma would have worn and the color of her favorite pink sweater.

There were so many times as kids that my grandma would speak of not being around. At first should would say that she wouldn't be around to see me make my first communion. Then it was that she wouldn't see me make my confirmation, graduate from high school, go to college, or even graduate from college. Then she said she didn't think she'd be alive long enough to see me get married. Grandma was 87 when I got married so I know that was pushing it! But she was there. Grandma always hoped and said she wanted to be there when I would have my first child. It was the first time that she didn't say she "wouldn't be there." But she passed away never did get to see that.

While its a sad time and trying to remember a good time is hard, I have thought about all the birthdays we had had for Grandma over the years and as I look back at a couple pictures, I am reminded how she loved a party...especially a birthday party. It was she who took me out and shopping the day my parents got me a waterbed as a surprise gift for my birthday when I was in 8th grade. It was the first bed that was all mine and bought especially for me. It was also grandma who planned and help keep secret my mom's retirement party 7 years ago. (Grandma always thought she would spill the beans as she couldn't keep a secret she said!) All in all the thing that she enjoyed was not so much the party itself but the fact that all of her family was together. Grandma was the youngest of 9 children (Two of her siblings...a set of twins died as babies.) For all of Grandma's life, and as we look back at pictures of her having her weekly card game with her siblings or riding a bicycle as a toddler with her two brothers hanging on to it, it was clear that family was the most important thing to her. She would be just as upset as the rest of us when family would fight or argue. Even when we had squabbles she tried to get us to become peacemakers. Grandma may have been stubborn and even forgetful in her older age, but she was definitely wise. Wise enough to know that without family, we have nothing.

This Monday, to celebrate her birthday, a couple of my siblings and I are going to go play Bingo at Holy Family Church. She loved playing Bingo and loved playing it mostly at Holy Family. It was always about family. It's where many of her Grandchildren went to church or had attended school. It's where many of us would gather for 5:00 mass on a Saturday night with her and my parents when she was living on the west side of town. The name said it all...Holy Family. It was always about family.

This week I take that with me to help me through the loss. Leukemia may have taken her body from us but it can't take her memory.

Grandma....I love and miss you. Happy Birthday.